she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
