I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
