That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
