I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
