And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Randomize
