just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
