she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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