I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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