I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
