Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
there is puke in my bra ... again
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