They should really pass out barf bags in church
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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