I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
