So drunk, too bad you don't want this
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
