Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
