a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
