did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
we should paint friendship bongs
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
