erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
