i need an iv and a liver transplant
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
