He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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