Me. At least after what I've been through.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
