I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
