Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
