Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
