I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
