Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
