Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Is it penis luge time yet?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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