How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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