we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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