remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
