You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
