Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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