I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
