I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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