if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
