I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I AM VODKA MAN
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
