His pubic hair was longer than his dick
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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