Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
