you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
