what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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