We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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