hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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