is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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