What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
