It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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