He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Randomize
