The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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