You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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