we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
