I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
