You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
