We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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