Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
