Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
