Where did you get a picture of my penis
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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